When we arrived we were pointed in the direction of our table, a semi-circular booth that hadn't been tidied properly from the previous diners. There were crumbs and bits of food on the seat. There was also a stain on the tablecloth that had been covered by a menu, which we didn't need as there was only three of us.
We were approached by a man who can only be described as a smartarse. He acted like he owned the place but we weren't sure if this was just what he liked to think on Saturday nights. He asked if we had any questions about the menu, but I think if we did have we would have been to terrified to ask him for fear of being publicly humiliated.
He asked us if we wanted wine, and after making a suggestion that we agreed with (Zinzendorf Semillon Sauvignon Blanc, $29.50), he disappeared without asking whether we wanted a bottle or a glass each. It was good wine, but he recommended it before we could take a breath, which suggested he was being paid to recommend it. He didn't take into account what food we were going to order either.
He also told me off for mentioning that I had an Entertainment Book card, because apparently it could mean the staff would treat us badly (not him though of course). He thought he was doing me a huge favour but I just thought he was a dickhead - I'm not too proud to have an EB card. Otherwise, I daresay, I wouldn't have one.
We have dined at many EB restaurants with the gold card, and I don't think we have ever had out service compromised because of it.
The menu itself obviously written by this man. Smartarse, right down to telling the reader to shut up about why wines were written as 'cab sav' instead of their proper name. The menu also featured items that were not recommended, almost as if daring you to order it so the smartarse man could tell you why you shouldn't. Why have chicken teriyaki on the menu if you're going to make someone feel bad for not ordering something more risque?
After we ordered we waited more than 45 minutes to get our food. I ordered patagonian toothfish karai ($32), Anna ordered teppanyaki steak wagyu ($35.90) on a StoneGrill - so it didn't even have to be cooked for her to receive it, and our friend Kirstie ordered tempura ($28.90), surely a basic for any Japanese chef.
The wagyu beef was too big, though that didn't stop Anna from eating it all, she would have preferred a smaller piece that cost less. And her salad, served in a ramikin dish, was inadequate for the size of the meat portion. The StoneGrill is a volcanic rock heated to 400 degrees Celcius. The idea is that you cook the meat yourself as well done as you like. Anna was concerned that the tiny woman who served it to her was going to drop the whole thing in her lap. It was a bloody heavy rock and being heated as it was would have meant a night in the Emergency Department.
It was, however, delicious. That said, it had nothing to do with the cooking - it was a great piece of meat.
The patagonian toothfish was standard. It was served with rice and two small pieces of old-looking broccoli. It was plain. I chose this because the fish is controversial and it's not something that I've ever seen on a restaurant menu before. Meh. I wouldn't bother again.
The tempura was nice, but when is deep fried fish not nice? It was all pretty standard.
For dessert Kirstie and I shared the creme brulee ($13.50). The one dessert was served as two separate brulees, plum and Frangelico. They were delicious, but they were smallest creme brulees in the history of the world. Anna commented that the dishes they were served in were actually condiment dishes. They flambéd the dishes at our table, an entirely pointless exercise. I just wanted to eat the damn thing, and by now Anna was REALLY worried that we may yet end up at Emergency.
She had the ginger ice cream ($10), that she enjoyed, but it was ridiculously expensive that wasn't even garnished or decorated.
Let's talk about the atmosphere at Tsunami. Ever been to The Moon cafe in Northbridge? It is one of my most loathed places in Perth, though it doesn't pretend to be a gold class restaurant. Tsunami's atmosphere was a bit like this... kind of dingy. It was aiming for a kind of shabby chic but it didn't win any of us over. At least it wasn't too noisy.
This photograph, from their website, is entirely deceptive. Tsunami is not bright and well-lit. It is dark and the mood lighting misses the mark.Tsunami was average. We got $35 off the bill because of the Entertainment Book, which made things better, but we wouldn't go back here either way.
Tsunami. Not a big wave. Not recommended.
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